That's the secret to virgins: blizzards.
ed mcmahon, farrah fawcett, and michael jackson all in one week. What next god, are you juts gonna take my penis too?
whoever created level 16 on brickbreaker is a dick
know what the best part about malls are? standing on the upper level and boob gazing
He asked me where I wanted it. I told him in the condom. He stops mid thrust and says "you're no fun" and then blew. Chivalry is semi dead.
yea. Don't mess. He will heal me. But my blowjobs will be historical.
Going through my purse trying to find money for this cab but all I keep pulling out if chicken from my burrito o ate an hour ago. Help?
I apologized for the whole SWAT team incident to the roommate.
You're like the Mr. T of my A-team, only less gold jewelry and more pitying of fools.
That's the nicest thing anyone has said to me all day.
What is this nonsense on the table
Your idea.
I mean the hole taco that was chewed up and spit out
Side note: the physics of a guy my size and age getting laid in the backseat of a Toyota Camry are absolutely staggering
Nothing like the judgmental looks you get in the bathroom when you still have last night's glowsticks on
I was so high last night I honestly think my tears were medicinal
He made her leave because she liked Top-Ramen better than Maruchaun. He's my hero.
A girl showed up in my tinder and I have it set to only men... I super liked her because I need a lesbian experience
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