she was definitely a virgin. no ones that bad unless theyre a virgin
your sister was..
The only problem is i have violated all potential new years resolutions at the new years party.
My own mom unfriended me on Facebook.
I wish we were homeless so drinking on the streets was acceptable.
I know i'm the slutty cousin, but be honest. have you ever got your nose ring caught on a guy's zipper?
you vomited through the snorkel and onto the back of your head. it was truly amazing
we spent fifteen minutes trying to convince you that you weren't locked inside of your car
We looked at pictures of a Texas banjo contest from 2006 for a half hour and then were surprised by who won. That stoned.
Are you still goin to the xmas party?
Yaaaa why?
Jus making sure i will have nice people i know to put a blanket over me when i pass out in the field .
Just had a flashback of dry humping a man lying in the street while Jim (dressed as santa) screams 'HAVE YOU BEEN A GOOD BOY?!'
THE MAINTENANCE MEN WERE DOWN STAIRS AND I THOUGHT THEY WERE MY MOM. I'VE BEEN YELLING 'GRILL ME A CHEESE' AT THEM FOR HALF AN HOUR
Doing coke by yourself isn't as fun. Even when you're watching a James Franco movie.
you face planting the wall was epic
did you at least save my tooth
My boss just texted me, clearly drunk, and said get down here pronto with a handle of rum, 50 lbs. of cold cuts, and a BB gun. This is not why I went to law school.
I'm just going to use my debit card. I feel bad buying pizza with the money I stole from my roommate...so I'm going to put it in my piggy bank.
Randomize
