why does he think he needs to feed/take me out to get some ass? we are at a bar wasting my fucking time
Sam Adams makes it so easy to keep track of the seasons.
Friends don't let friends talk to people who live in Orlando. Sorry I've failed you.
margarita scented body wash shouldn't be used the morning after cuervo. there should be a warning on the label.
I make one hell of a fire on Ambien. Other life choices not so much. But fire. Fire I can do.
The last thing I remember was riding in a grocery cart with two strangers while a cop pushed us
I still can't get the taste of her nipples and the udon noodles out of my mouth
Im so glad I make morally wrong decisions. It's like the best worst thing I've ever done.
Oh shit that's not good dude. I'd head straight for Williamsport hospital the first ingredient in that shit is lithium batteries. You don't want to know what the second one is
Your vagina needs to teach my vagina its ways.
I woke up at her place in a kids bed hearing Sesame Street. She doesn't have kids!
I brought an already opened bag of trail mix from home to snack on today. Some motherfucker ate all the m&ms out of it. I hate my roommates
I really wanna treat my body good. Because i plan on doing drugs
he was really really nice, and I did coke off of his dong that night too
I could see the visible disappointment when she saw my penis
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