I got into an eating contest with Christina. I ate 6 oranges.
Why? Who won?
we don't know. we ran out of oranges.
He just spent five minutes trying to sling shot a cheese-it off his dick and into my mouth.
"Take a picture of me motorboating molly" was probably not my best career move
as soon as his mom opened the door to let me in the house she asked if i would like a shot
it's gonna be a great weekend
You guys tried to boil water to fill up the empty hot tub. After the fourth trip back with the kettle you gave up.
Everything tastes like Lysol. Am I dying?
I was looking at your puke while I was peeing in it the next morning and that ceasar salad did not treat you well
You are so lucky you didn't go back to Tate's house. They decided to figure out who had the biggest balls... I was the judge
I can get stoned and we can bake and then I can eat 70% of it and it will be awesome
my mom said i came home and fell asleep on the floor. like right in front of her.
My vagina is officially offended.
He brought me Plan B in the snowstorm.
A+ 👏🏼
Might call you tomorrow on a drunken hate filled rant, or just a normal hate filled rant, either way be ready.
Afterwards I drank a whole bottle of cake vodka in the bathtub while he was bawling his eyes out. Hands down weirdest hookup I've ever had.
Wearing panties to a party gives you a whole new perspective on life.
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