I think I'm in Tiajuana
You are not in Tijuana. I saw you an hour ago
I could be
you started crying about dinosaurs being extinct
that's why i woke up holding that dina girls hand
she's a dina-saur
They really brought out their best strippers for vday weekend
thanks for leaving the note with the doctor's recommendations for my lip, they are dissolvable stitches right?
He drives a BMW. I have to fuck him. Girl Code Rule #26.
im just laying here pukin in my mouth and swallowing it 'cause im WAY too lazy to actually get up and find a place to vomit. this is my life now.
Just had a memory of you pretending to be a begging dog putting your head on my lap while I fed you. Great night to try a new drug.
I also was calling every child by their name "Birthcontrol" - straight people are fun
Apparently coming home smelling like I took a bath in beer is frowned upon in this household. I'm so glad I don't actually live here.
I woke up and found a stick of butter in my pocket. There's no butter in the house so I don't know who's it is. Using it to make cookies.
to drive Frat boys away, one just needs to cat-call at them. It makes their masculinity weaker, and yours stronger.
I need five more minutes of sobbing.. AND THEN I will get back to studying
i just got hit on on the bus. Yes sir, because its every boys dream to fuck a forty year old with a face tattoo
Back at condo with chick. What is the condom situation urgent response needed
I passed out with the lights and tv on woke up at 4am SO confused and covered in goldfish so I ate them and went back to bed.. fuck xanax
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