Actions speak louder than words. Her actions scream crazy.
How the hell am I supposed to know what lotion to get her? They should have a dressing booth where I could go test how good it is for jerking off, then I'd know.
Sunscreen. In my vag. I hate summer sex.
My vagina just recognized that song.
Sent him a picture of my pregnant boobs from last year, think he'll notice the difference?
Dude imagine how many pictures of dicks Obama gets. That can't be unusual. Almost every kids in the US has written the president a letter.
Well watching will be involved...it'll just most likely be of me licking your penis instead of me trying to understand how Hans Solo goes up against the Galactic Empire...
Hot Damn Cinnamon Schnapps make me feel like the sun is punching me in the face and a bear is sleeping inside me.
Trying to figure out what I just puked. Demon weed is salad. No more drunk buffets.
Anddon't worry about me I have my Darth Vader flashlight
I was thirsty after the sex and it was a long trek back to res so naturally I stole chocolate milk from his fridge as I left
You did a cartwheel, it was terrible.
I remember that cartwheel, it was okay.
just had an acid flashback in my therapist's office. i am a walking stereotype
1 why did you tell them where i peed last night and 2 where the fuck are you
Now all my porn is stored in my parents’ basement. It’s like a part of my soul is boxed up
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