this just proves how much faith i have in "us".. what should we be for halloween..?
Of course the bar would go completely silent right as I yell out "I don't have AIDS"
He was the one that got away. From my vagina.
But mostly the blowjob in the airport bathroom was what I was laughing at.
She had sex in a public bathroom and slept on a couch in the dorm lobby. It's only Monday
If you don't get head tonight I will castrate you
Seriously. Castrate.
I came back and almost ran over two people passed out in my driveway I've never met before in my life
I'm more of a 'talk at me while I stare at you' kinda girl.
People will say "JOE YOU MUST TURN DOWN" and I will refuse, in the name of liberty.
I'm the kind of girl who misses her mouth when trying to eat, do you honestly think I'm coordinated enough to wear heels during sex?
we're like the harlem globetrotters of underage drinking
just yelled CURVEBALL at my nightie because it turned out to be a pair of shorts
And he put my hair in my clip while i blew him...and he did a good job
My fuck buddy just proposed... Correct me if I'm wrong, but doesn't that completely defeat the purpose of FRIENDS with benefits?
Now you can be friends with Insurance Benefits.
I’m sorry I got high and yelled about the patriarchy.
Randomize
