Do you think Capital One would let me put the Tub Girl picture on my Capital One card?
Beat you to it.
I love him more than I love myself. Which is a lot...Because I'm narcissistic.
He said "what's the haps". I don't know what the haps are but there goes his chances
woke up with 15 BAGS of hot dog buns in my passenger seat... jameson strikes again
I'm in the laundromat a drunk armenian guy keeps trying to help me fold my laundry. Ah i'm going to miss queens.
I'm sitting the next couple hours out. Puking in a potted plant really put shit into perspective for me.
In chronological order you drank, sang, smoked, napped, threw up, cried, laughed, described your pubic area, passed out. You have abused the privilege to use me as your D.D.
That's the first time I've ever heard something that tickled both my gag reflex and my penis simultaneously.
Based on the time of Sean's "I'm on your street" phone call last night, we had sex for an hour and a half. Man, time flies when you're getting boned to an orgasmic death.
i would have fingered myself to death by now but the dog wont stop staring at me
the last thing I remember is taking a pull of ever clear and chasing it with vodka
I'm just going to take a nap and hope I wake up more attractive.
Not sure how my purse ended up in the bushes last night... Or why there was a noodle strainer in the toilet.
The fact he has had a girlfriend for 5 years and they are trying to work it out isn’t going to stop me from sleeping with him. He said it himself you can’t cheat on someone you love...
Was picked up in the middle of a bar full of people...apparently I'm not tall enough to reach for drunken makeouts. I'm proud of myself.
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