Rock
Scissors
Fuck
i wish peter jackson would direct porn
i think beer pong is the only time ive ever found a use for geometry
Whoever had sex in my bed during the party last night left a glow in the dark condom on my floor. I'm not even mad anymore, I just want to know who it is so they can tell me where to get one.
he was wearing a tuxedo, i was naked...it's a long story.
I don't care how high you are, you can't finger me while eating potato chips.
I just want uncharted vagina. Fresh and ripe.
Jk. Anyone who everbeers with me is my type.
I will keep you posted and someday if we daydrink teach you how to do a footjob
Some old chick is rubbing my thigh and saying she needs some Memorial Day dick. Her teeth are kind of gross but I'm going for it.
This girl is wasted dancing to The Final Countdown. She's grinding on a guy who came to the bar in a track jacket and a wife beater
HE IS. YOU SHOULD TOUCH HIS BACK.
IT IS A COURTSHIP RITUAL.
THE MUTUAL BUTT TOUCH IS SACRED.
Just got thrown out of the club for making condom water balloons. I'm not ashamed.
i've got three words. i. was. spanked.
I was so drunk, he put me to bed and went down stairs to hang out with his friends. Apparently, I was curled up in the closet, spooning the dresser when he came back up.
Randomize
