last night i got mauled by 2 gay men who were trying to make each other jealous by making the other think they could swing back- you're going to love atl
So I don't have any furniture but we just skateboard drunk around the floor.
This kid is drunk.
I hope by "this kid" you mean yourself and not some child you have kidnapped and gotten wasted.
Still can't decide which I'm more disappointed about: the blow job I gave him or the donuts I ate after.
I am just pathetic enough to be sitting on the couch with my cat drinking absinthe and vodka watching moulin rouge. Hello, tuesday night.
hurry up this bar wont let me order big pitchers of beer for just myself
So ran into your ex from sophomore year last night... Apparently hes gay and a stripper now. we all got lap dances because we knew you
Or I could hide in your trunk so you can sneak out of putt putt for sex breaks
See I would make a great girlfriend. My surprises are sex and burritos. What else do guys want
I just turned down a booty call because I'm having a Star Wars movie marathon
I got home at 1 am on a weeknight with lube in my hair. I'd say it was a successful first date.
So who left their underwear on a lamppost in my aunt's backyard
Also, do you have any insight as to WHY I have a note saved from the 17th of June that reads *clears throat*, "you got that swanky blues libido"
I mean, I want you to have freaky orgasmic fun to entertain me, but I don’t want you to risk HIV or car crashes
and by running errands I mean eating an entire bag of milanos by myself in the Walmart parking lot
Randomize
