Ah I wish I was there to nurse you then clean up your piss-filled water bottles
for some reason the bedside piss missed the water bottle today
I just had a 2 1/2 hr conversation about the pros and cons of taping your ballsack to your taint, which then led into the unveilling of lady gaga being a hermaphrodite.
Anywhere you can eat green eggs and ham, you can have sex.
Alright, so what's my next move? I already posted a Milli Vanilli video on her wall
We made the bar tender tell us how he proposed to his girlfriend. In detail. While we made gushing noises. We are embarrassments to females everywhere
Did you shave a certain someone in his sleep last night?
You may now shotgun with the bride
Idk how much more i could have responded my dick was basically trying to unzip the zipper and hop out
Jesus Christ I am the crazy cat lady of vibrators
It was only in the sobering silence of the wilderness on the mountain, after I was too tired to talk anymore and I also didn't want to tell Julian that we were lost, that I realized how super tripped out I had been the entire time...
They are gonna stay together and get married and have 2 children before he wakes up and realizes that there is more to life than anal
The CEO is on this whole 'what do you do with your spare time?' kick. Umm... get drunk and have sex in bar parking lots.
Are you opposed to me trying out your penis?
Update: pile o Coke party starting at approx 4 - 7 and going until 1ish to celebrate our founding fathers and love of cocaine and hatred of everyone\n
I’m sorry, some of us common-folk don’t have access to steady dick
Randomize
