Just be blunt and say drink from my dick
I have big tits. Rules don't apply to me.
Using pokemon references during sexual acts is always a good idea.
just because she blew him doesn't mean she knows his name.
Shared a jello shot with her mom last night. then she tucked me in and took of my shoes for me
i think he was starting go for a boob grab when we both realized the middle of a public tennis court wasn't the place
I have to date her. We need a place to stay when we go tailgating.
Quote of the night award goes to my father "I like wearing my swim trunks around the house because they are cooler and more blousy for my balls". Yay dad
I need to ask my mom where the drain cleaner is, but I'm afraid she'll ask why and the answer to that will just be "cum."
I think it says something about my sobriety when I don't notice a Taco Bell wrapper stuck to my ass until I'm in the shower...
She has a bong hits for Jesus shirt. Of course I'm going to like her.
They're the one who can profit the most when given the opportunity for blackmail.
At least that's how I've always seen it whenever I've been the Designated Driver.
That simultaneously explains everything and makes me very very terrified of you.
Might call you tomorrow on a drunken hate filled rant, or just a normal hate filled rant, either way be ready.
Ccatlin cimbing thru th sunroof plz come
Im just drunk enough to admit that I miss Hannah Montana.
Randomize
