Its ok relax. i can tell ur gonna start raggin. talk 2 u next week
I mixed the ketchup wit the mustard in one bottle to save time making hotdogs
I know I said I was done dating 22 year olds but it's not my fault all the guys my age gave up on life and got fat
If there was a game called "keeping your legs shut," I would lose every time.
I would just like you to know that the guy I blew off last weekend to come find ur drunk ass just got drafted into the major leagues.
Moment of silence for the loss of that option.
The cops are here to take me to jail, so I guess I have to go with them. If I'm not out by 6 p.m., there is some left-over lasagna in the fridge for you.
Ok I am NOT pregnant. I could shove coal up my vagina and my uterus would turn it into a diamond in a matter of minutes
My alarm clock on my phone was changed to Fat Bottom Girls over the weekend, and I just now noticed. I'm actually okay w that after Mardi Gras. Well done, random. Well done.
I wish you could just Google "people I've had sex with" and they would all just come up
Sorry I twat blocked you earlier I didn't know Sam was over. But, my house my rules, I don't have to knock before I enter. I did see naked butts and smelt "Sex Stank" in the air, we're going to have to set some ground rules when I get home. Hugs and kisses..Mom
I'm glad you found someone that both loves you and is cool doing coke off your tits. Proud of you.
I'm not wearing pants, but I'm wearing a tiara.
How do you say, "I love you, but i prefer sex with someone else." in a good way? Ponder that over a jack and coke and get back to me.
I fucked a marine... I told him it was like personal revenge and he said he could live with that and that he didn't mind being used.
I am high. And my mom surpised me today. Now i am high and with my mom....bad idea
Randomize
