How long do you think herpes can live on chapstick?
I am SOOO high
tell me about your high
HUGE THUMBTACKS
my mom is pro-life. I dare you to fuck me.
i just realized that fran drescher is the 90's version of a guidette.
how do i say, "my ex is going to be at this party so don't look like shit" without sounding like a bitch?
i mean, i stole her boyfriend and beat her snake score on facebook within 48 hours. not her week.
She's an honest to god fucking ballerina. She did things I don't have names for.
You get drunk and try to bury your girlfriend in the sand JUST ONCE and all hell breaks loose
Its been 4 years since I have masturbated this hard. God bless the Olympics!
He better not be in your backpack
I think he's speaking German to me now
Nevermind, he's just drunk and not texting properly
The walk of shame is a lot easier when I'm at a music festival and it's 12 feet from his tent to my tent
You are living the dream.
That moment when a stripper is the one that makes the two of you have to define the status of your relationship...
woke up and you werent here...its ok if we're never going to speak again but my furry hand cuffs are missing and i would like them back. thanks.
Woke up at 5am in an elevator... Pretty much tells you how my weekend went.
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