Its already bleeding so dont be alarmed after you bite it
She needs to learn what's it like to have sex with someone and regret it the next day.
my dealer just handed me my weed in a pink easter egg
In the midst of you puking your guts out, you stopped, looked at the globe in front of you and whispered "America.."
No, not normal drunk. Wake up on a trampoline with a naked chick you've never seen before drunk. I think i missed my first trampoline sex...
It's all fun and games until some random starts jerking it on the deck.
This taxi driver is not happy I am in drag
Like please, take your microdick and try to stick it someplace else. It is not welcome in my world.
On a Thurs night I found myself drunk in a limo w 9 dudes on my way to a strip club. Once there I was handed $100 in ones and told "spend it." I need a husband. Or Jesus.
I consider any night I don't make out with someone a bad night. So I've been great.
he would snap chat his dick as like Harry Potter
Last night when I blacked out, I ate Chef Boyardee. I never want to be that drunk ever, ever again.
He just said "I can't wait to penetrate you tomorrow" I sat in silence for a second...he attempted to save it by saying "I can't wait to enter you".
So anyways, we returned the toilet paper and decided to use the money for taco bell and slurpees instead...
I have had flashes of 69ing, a strawberry flavored condom and begging him to sleep naked.
Randomize
