Alex, there's no such thing as a fancy sex store.
So I just saw a commercial for tickle me Elmo furry gloves. And I thought hmm I bet I could jerk off with those. Is that a sign of deepseated charachter issues?
Would it be too much if i wore depends to new moon so i dont miss any of it?
I mean I like that it's warm enough to open the windows, but it annoys me that I can't walk around naked anymore.
just saw a guy driving a atv down the highway in a tux.... only in Iowa...
i almost hope i AM knocked up so i can ruin the rest of his life
i have at this current moment imbibed enough alcohol to float immerse or otherwise submerge a goat of respectable size. tequila
thank you whoever used my nalgene as a flask. pregamin in chem
Am I really that girl who walks around half naked wearing a cowboy hat begging for liquor at some random guys house
you just cant say you love him and then say you want to fuck your boss
The only things in my fridge are almond milk, Smirnoff Ice and chicken noodle soup. I'd say I've done mama proud.
Is it weird to wish your favorite hooker "happy thanksgiving"?
He told me if he passed out to wake him by sitting on his face, and if he suffocated at least he would die happy. Found the one.
I need a moral compass that doesn't always point to dick
what happened last night?!
you took a shot and then laid down on our kitchen table and passed out.. then when we tried to move you to the couch you screamed "no! i love tables"
Randomize
