i just dont know how to see an unattractive person as more than a friend
It was as awful as eating cow testicles on fear factor and not winning and realizing you ate balls for nothing.
i'm at the point now where i want him to say anything. even an apology for his boomerang-shaped penis would be nicer than no comment.
its not a holiday until ive ruined the family picture because im drunk
She kept saying the tortilla understood her. I honestly don't know where she found a tortilla at the pool.
I opened my door to find him standing there with vodka, McDonalds, a smile and a hard-on. Of course I let him in.
I hooked up with Spider-Man on the hood of Santas car. I kept saying that he could shoot his web at me. Also I found Waldo. Overall good night.
Ok I'm drunk as fuck already at 529 and this waitress started flirting with me, I wanna bang her for acknowledging my existence
So my POF profile is full of Archer references. Only guys who get them will be getting any response to their messages.
His dick is the size of my forearm. Would it be rude to ask to take a comparison photo after sex?
My parents get here at 6 so I have to make it look like a sober virgin lives in my room by 5.
I just need a big sign that says no more penis please hanging over my head at all times
Only true party girls take their birth control with Smirnoff.
I either have a problem or a really good solution... I just ordered my homecoming dress off of a website that sells forplay outfits.
This is what I get for listening to Christians.
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