Yup u can hook up with me now and not goto jail
dude im shwasted, kabul is not the best place for this
last week i woke up at this guys house...this week i woke up at his ex girlfriends
Its about making memories worth repressing
The one night I bring a girl home you leave the footloose soundtrack playing.
You are the only person I know that goes to a bar enough to charge your iPhone there....
that's the best thing i've ever said to a penis
We smoked a bowl in front of the abortion clinic shouting Obama at the protestors.
it still weirds me out that Robin Thicke is Alan Thicke's son
Yo I get this girl alone in my room last night but she bounces cus she thought the full house poster was "weird"
There's a super pregnant woman here complaining about back pain. I better not see a live birth in the hair care aisle
A boy just offered to come over and help me clean my house. I hope you are more successful than he will be tonight.
I've had my dick out in public way too much for someone my age...
i was so blazed last night that i kept imagining a talking eagle sitting next to me encouraging me to smoke more... i listened to it.
I was a psycho gf all the time...I'm sorry
I was drunk 90% of the time...tit for tat
Randomize
