Hold on, I'm google imaging "vagina close ups" to see if mine match up
If it looks like I didn't change from last night, it's because I didn't.
Woke up with an epic boner today, the kind where you can spin books and shit on it. FYI: don't try spinning an encyclopedia
in mid cry she says "I can be a whore if I want to"
Girl walking by was talking on the phone about how he needed to write a gratitude list in her letter to god this week. Too stoned
I will now refer to my life as before and after I used Astroglide for the first time
The kid in the park, who was on a leash I might add, looked at us and yelled "stranger danger" before hiding behind his dad
Is there really anything more beautiful than opening a fresh box of wine on a Friday afternoon?
you were like "guys ... i think i got fingered while dancing tonight"
our poor poor cab driver
Good. Need a drinking partner later. FOR AMERICA!!!
That guy was cool until he tried fighting that dude in the bow tie. I need better wingmen.
Giant stained glass jesus is judging my black pleather pants
I like to send nudes ok? If that's my biggest flaw I think I'm ok
A relationship is waiting for him to fall asleep so you can cum (finally!) while watching porn
I like to make sure they know it's casual by giving then a high five after sex
Randomize
