i just spit dirty mouth water on my dentist. and apparently grinning sheepishly and saying "my b" doesn't make it better
bl l w
this should be fun to decipher. I'd like to buy a vowel.
Theyr drawing diagrams to try to explain to me how high they are
we were pretty classy up until the second keg
we just did breakfast shots, I have a black eye and savage garden is on . Best weekend ever
You told the entire McDonalds staff that I was a whore and that you didn't want your french fries cooked.
It was like getting head from an anaconda
There was an ice luge. Lets just leave it at that.
Give me one reason I shouldn't put the phrase "sex emotions" into my essay.
No.
I bought an american flag today and by god im gonna fuck someone on it
Do you remember trying to make pizzas with the domino workers last night...while trying to speak their language with them.. spanish?
multitasking: i'm now sitting up and smoking my joint.
turns out putting a tie on my unicorn onesie didn't make it acceptable "formal wear" and I found salsa in my cup holder
Ok. I'm gonna smoke some weed and look at some elephants without you then.
The worst thing about buying this extremely comfortable bed is that once I get a girl into it, all she wants to do is sleep. I want my fucking money back.
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