Oh and I watched laurens last episode on the hills. its been an emotional day
Her vagina should come with caution tape.
Found a left over fake Olympic medal from our party last weekend. Awarded it to a random girl in the bar last night. Its the only thing she was wearing this morning when she woke up at my place.
no they seem fine, they're doing push ups and waiting for a charging toy helicopter
do you guys have 30-35 shot glasses? because if not, i don't even see a point in me coming
oh no, don't get me wrong.. she IS really pretty. If you are in to horses or Sarah Jessica Parker.
Just me. You're probably having sex with her right now, so here's a reminder that you should be thinking of me per our agreement.
She asked if i could guess "what shape her carpet was". I got it wrong (christmas tree).
She called to say her plane was running late and i had 30minutes to get to the airport for bathroom sex
So after taking my shirt off, he pulls my bra off like a hockey jersey. FUCKIN PRO. Guy knew what he wanted.
I'm not gonna lie. I'm a little scared.
Good. The Jell-O shots look great.
We all just got ice cream, condoms, and toilet paper now were gonna go home and watch movies as a family.
Condoms?
Yeah, we got drunk and stole road signs.
i did these weird ass ab exercises once that left me queefing for weeks
I just woke up with a cowboy hat on my face and a playboy from the 90s on my chest
Randomize
