why are there post-it notes all around the apartment labeled where you guys had sex and in what position
This place doesnt have redbull or serve shots. Its like they are at war with fun.
Haha o man how much you've grown. From beer bonging wine and wearing cargo shorts to well, beer bonging beer and wearing cargo shorts
We are not on the "bring me breakfast" level. He's bringing me penis if I ask for breakfast too I'll just sound greedy
I threw up in the shower, slipped, and fell in it. Should I try and continue my day or just get back in bed?
We made a bet that we had to talk like Yoda all night at the bars
So apparently using the emergency exit of the bar as a bathroom is frowned upon in this establishment...
I yelled kanye while he was fucking me. It just felt right
btw you left your chapstick on the nightstand and bruises on my body...
gifts from me to you. you're welcome.
Why do you have an empty bottle of port in your bathroom bin?
Some guy just ordered at Cosmo and 2 screwdrivers in the sky club at 8:30 am. I'm starting to feel a lot better about my alcoholism
I know it sounds all cute and shit that I wanted him to be with me last night, but it's not cute. I just wanted to fuck.
I'm too socially awkward and sexually frustrated to get through this evening sober.
I don't remember what you did, but I DO remember that i'm supposed to hate you for it.
Maybe those shots of hot dog water wasn’t a good idea after killing a fifth of tequila.. but who’s askin
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