we better have passed that bar exam - i dont want to have to drink like this again
I just heard an old guy ask the chick he was with if she wanted to try ass to mouth...
thanks for that.
I was batman and I saved her. Then we had sex on a rooftop.
My first sex dream, I blew myself. Yours definitely wins.
This hot topless Jamaican just ran down the st with me on his back and He was screaming "I be stealing yo white ladies."
I don't know if i should be jealous or worried... or question where you are.
My grandpa is giving me detailed instructions on how to fight a second floor bedroom fire from a ladder on the out side. Just in case
Katie told the cabby "when the boat docks I'm getting off with you"
He said "I can't wait for you to feel me inside of you so I can tell you gently that you're mine" and left me a 4 minute voice mail of him crying after I told him I didn't want to be with him. 30 year olds are off limits.
Just so you know, your wedding is in the same place I gave my first bj.
Sorry about the whole your mom seeing my face up your ass situation
We haven't been trashed enough to shut down a bar together in four days. I'm starting to worry that we're growing apart.
i think the realest test of our friendship is how hot your sister looks right now
Did I tell you guys I was bisexual last night? I just had a flashback
Man, that hitchhiker cursed me.
This might be the worst thing you've ever done.
Really? I feel like I've done worse. Guess I gotta step my game up.
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
Randomize
