how about we just leave your boyfriend out of this
wow wtf my bar tab was 80 dollars
IT WAS DOLLAR BEER NIGHT
Shes from jersey what did you expect her to say when you asked her if she did coke? Its like asking some1 from a third world country if they are hungry
stayed up until 6am doing my presentation on buddhist art and the practice of chanting. took shots. did drugs. the powerpoint now includes a sesame street style game (with chicken/puppy clip art), an xzibit music video (and quotes about section eight and eating steaks), and a reference to a german metal band (universe). this is going to be the best presentation ever
I'm like a wolly mammoth down there. what do I tell him?
this whole healthcare thing got me thinking.. without knowing it my parents are now going to be paying for my dealer to be able to live..
Hey they cleaned all the blood out of the elevator. Also could you pick up some nachos?
You put your shot glass in your waistband and then told me how convinent it was.
There are rocks in my bed. And dirt all over my face. Explain?
So aparently telling your roommate you're going to spoon them so hard in the public place of their employment is inappropriate
margarita monday on the first day back? my gpa is telling me noo! but my heart is telling me goo! I am conflicted..
WHY AM I THE ONLY ONE CONCERNED ABOUT THE SEAGULL IN THE OVEN
It's the first weekend of the school year and I'm already selling stuff for booze. Need a microwave?
U sent me lyrics to wind beneath my wings
My liver misses your liver
Idk, but the girl in his story had really nice eyebrows and was singing The Climb. How about you CLIMB the fuck away from my man
FORGET THE EYEBROWS
Randomize
