i'm going to be honest, my vagina smells.
Why are handjobs necessary in class?
Whoa! I think of you when I eat cottage cheese.
hey, when you wake up, search yourself on youtube
my sister already found it, were watching it right now. i give it 2 thumbs up.
Just saw some guy puking out of the dorm window, its for sure monday
Packing up everything in the dorm. Silly bands to unused condom ratio is ridiculous.
She's the drunk girl with the air-horn and sunflower seeds.
RA chick in a Christmas onsie chased us up 5 flights of stairs. I need to stop violating guest policy
He shit in a sock dude, you can't come back from that
Yehhhaaww I'm way ahead of you. I'm gunna get her a card that says " I'm sorry your now ex boyfriend decided to upgrade"
My dad picked me up from the bus station and as soon as he saw me he yelled "bus backwards is SUB!" and started laughing, I'm like 800% sure he's stoned. I'm so happy I came home for spring break.
I love standing in line at rite aid for 10 minutes being forced to talk to my ex's mom about life while I'm holding nothing but yeast infection cream
Three times. Three times I left home yesterday in search for sex, and three times I returned un-orgasmed.
We aren't doing Shrooms tonight bc that would be friendship cheating on you
How was that girls surprise party last night?
Got absolutely destroyed tried to put somebody's leather jacket on and make out with their mother. You know.. the norm
Randomize
