just saw ex-bf. should he be more embarrassed to be a college dropout working at rite aid or should i be because i was buying newports and rembrant?
tie
I think my favourite thing about cubicles is the fact that I can pick my nose at work
In case you were wondering, you weren't dreaming. I really did get stuck between my bed and the wall last night.
Ate pizza for the 3rd time today, can't decide if that's disgusting or an amazing aspect of American culture.
We made a late night liquor run, made margaritas and bloody marys and then retreated to opposite sides of the house to drink them. Alone.
You guys make me sad
You misspelled jealous there
These headphones make me feel like I'm sitting on John Mayers lap and he's singing just to me. I picture like a pitch black room with a single spotlight on us. Also, convinced Kyle to give me percocet soo.
of course not. I do my best teaching on a hungover monday. I did the research. im still okay with the direction in which my life is headed.
And then he posed under the bed and said, "you should draw me like one of your french girls." Why do they keep giving this kid drugs?
So my mom wants me to come swim with dolphins with my little sisters in October. I'm not sure how to tell her I saw a "when dolphins attack" special when I was rolling and am now terrified of them.
I will always make you feel special and slightly offended. That's my job.
Seriously, she had fingers that made me thank a god I don't even believe in that I'm gay.
Because of my cut offs, my brother is convinced I fucked a girl so hard she forgot to take her pants. Fairly accurate.
I really wanted to pound but her roomate was making mac n cheese n shit so I was trying to time her moans to the drone of the microwave
I tried to get more sleep but the universe decided I needed a drunken freshman instead
Basically we had a threesome in one room and a fivesome in the next room. Its what I like to call a win win situation.
Randomize
