You stood up and started yelling"Free blow jobs!" because you thought people would like you more.
I fucking love fucking science majors-- she told me that she wanted to know if her gag reflex got better or worse with alcohol, and that her initial evidence had been inconclusive. So, next few weeks, yeah, gettin blown periodically. All I have to do is keep a log.
he doesn't care that i have a boyfriend so why should i?
logic in its finest
I just don't see what's wrong with carrying a water bottle around.
It's not the bottle. It's the fact that you're drinking wine out of a sport bottle at 9 am.
she refused to get out of the dog cage till we sang "be our guest" to her.
Apparently I also called my credit card company to demand a credit limit increase. I'm so content with not drinking another 60 days
Today is definitely a "stand over the toilet and pee through the opening at the bottom of my boxers" kind of day.
I guess the silver lining is that having a big dick really comes in handy when you're hungover.
It's a mixed blessing.
He asked for a foot job. Whatever. I guess I'm swimming in new slut waters tonight.
It's been over a year since we've been get-so-drunk-you-throw-beer-cans-at-fat-girls-drunk together. That needs to change.
I wasn't half as drunk as u but u were saying u were a "worm" and u tried to slither out of my grasp
Okay, so is being determined to have my vagina licked by a woman on Valentine's day an acceptable goal?
i dont believe you. i want proof. if you end up at a hospital send me a pic.
so it turns out that when you ride the subway drunk at 5 am you wake up with a sailor in your bed
I learned tonight while in another country that no matter the nationality, men are disappointing in bed
can I CTRL ALT DELETE this universe
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