i would give spencer pratt a bj just so i could bite his dick off
he'd just find a way to get more famous from being a eunich.
he was like Britney Spears in bed.. a little chubby and too medicated to perform.
When they send me to rehab, I'm screaming your name down the halls.
I kinda feel like I was hit by a Prius. Just glad it's not bus status.
The bend and snap? 98% success rate of getting attention. When used appropriately, it has an 83% rate of return on a dinner invitation.
What did he say?
NOTHING. GODDAMN HIM AND HIS MAGICAL PENIS!
Some guy Just sang about my ass on the street
It was terrible lyrics but I would have thrown my life savings into that guitar case if I had any.
Rule #61 of being a lady: never get fingered by a finger with a knuckle tattoo
We fucked so hard and loud that the everyone at the party downstairs starting chanting his name. Oh I we broke a lamp.
I feel like I was playing penis roulette last night nd I landed on the wrong one.
I just fell out of my doorway to go to class so if that doesn't describe how my night went idk what will
No it's like. I don't respect you. And I think you're a terrible person but. I still wanna bone it out.
It was like the icing on a beautiful fuck boy cake.
The sex definitely would have been a perk. But not sitting in a ditch was what I was going for...
He literally asked permission to hit on me
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