the dr. explained that the first big patch is called a herald patch since it's biggest. So his name is Harold the Patch.
Wow. You named your rash.
I've already planned a drinking game for mtvs jersey shore....jagerbomb everytime they do
I woke up this morning and saw that I had transferred $0.75 from my savings account to my checking account.
every time i recognize a doctor or patient at the hospital on this rotation, i just pray it's not from my blackout saturday makeout slut moments...professionalism shouldn't count on weekends
i just had to hear from a third party that he came inside of me
I'm not sure what happened last night but I woke up next to him and I was wearing nothing but my grandpa's diabetic socks, so I'm letting that fill in the blanks.
OH MY GOD I CAN'T WAIT TO BONE YOUR EX BOYFRIEND. HOW AWKWARD IS THIS?
I IMAGINED YOU YELLING SURPRISE WITH JAZZ HANDS. AND I LOVE YOU FOREVER
lesson learned.. dressing up like a naughty teacher doesn't mean you can get away with spanking a cop with a ruler for being "fresh" with you
when I went into his room, he was sleeping on his stomach, almost as if to silently say, "you're not touching my dick tonight".
I was like can I please fuck your hips back into realignment
he looks like the poster child for myspace how the hell does he have other hoes?
I AM GONNA CUM EVERYWHERE TONIGHT BRO.
Did u guys seriously make a betting pool on when im going to get pregnant???
Yep, wanna bid?
Vodka, MiraLAX and Gatorade are perfect for the night before a colonoscopy
Randomize
