it sounds like her vocal chords are covered in pudding and rocks. come get me.
I really hope you get sexually violated by a pterodactyl tonight.
playing new game: drink everytime u see someone at the beach with a tramp stamp, double if u guess it before u see it, triple for male tramp stamps
warning: blackouts possible when playing in ocean city or anywhere in new jersey
I have no morals, kinda like you have no standards
None
Dude my triple a card is good for bail. This is like a real live get out of jail free card
Just saw a crackhead get taken down by pd in the canal. Its offically spring
May or may not be going home with my jamitor. i'm kiddong, btw, i have no idea. i'll let you know soooon.
I WAS a history major. I also WAS a functioning human being. Fuck gin.
Hey, ok if I kidnap you? I wanna test a theory.
Unfortunately hes not a hipster douchebag with no life goals, so naturally I'm not interested.
Full disclosure. I fucked the fatty from work and shit is weird now.
Tequilla is a sneaky bitch ninja that doesn't kick in until you least expect it. Then BAM! You're peeing in unconventional places.
Just renamed the subject of my sex list on my phone "grocery list" just in case anyone comes across it
Woman doing my Brazilian right now says to tell you she says hi...what has our life come to?
So apparently my bro is going to make me fix his tattoo this trip... He sent me a pic of said tattoo. Tattoo is of a sperm, on his penis, which was in a woman's mouth... Wth
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