All i learned in high school was how to sell drugs
She looks makes a Zellweger face when she cums, she's keeps asking why I call her renee
I would invite you but we are high and there is an AK-47. Not your scene.
we're on our way back. she tried to pants the waiter again.
Going to have to start putting down newspaper if puking the bed is going to be a habit
If i pass out for a while at graduation, please atleast TRY to wake me?
If life deals in absolutes, the in betweens are the most hairy.... Fortune cookie wisdom from a stoned Megan.
he's home with a concussion now...but apparently i'm still the highlight of his freshman year
When one is stoned and browsing online dating profiles all men sound like serial killers.
My sharpie cut off line was invaded last night. Where's my turtleneck?
Like "oh its Monday, gotta get wasted today!" not "oh its Monday.. Gotta go to class"
I guess your brother-in-law will have his day in the sun tonight after you leave. By that, I of course, mean he's gonna suck liquor milk out your sister's tits.
Of course I'm using oj as a mixer, its flu season.
We used to bone, but now she's my life coach.
I'm just so full of love and alcohol
Randomize
