Ok seriously, can we bring back badminton?
DAMN! I hate it when i drunkenly erase all my "sent message" and wake up in the morning and my inbox is full of "WTF?" and "Huh?" messages.
I've decided to film a documentary centered around how he manages to keep that beast caged in such tight pants
Well the light went out so I was throwing up by candle light. Strange moment in my life.
when does it stop being whiskey dick and start just being me bad in bed?
It was scary, we all screamed. Never make mimosas in a car.
Apparently william has a "couch montage"...an album of facebook photos of himself on different couches in various states of happiness and despair. A heartwrenching journey through what was clearly a significant part of his life. I'd mock him more but I think the fact that I looked through it means he's already won
IT'S SUMMA TIME
ITS SUMMA TIME NOT BE HIGH ALL THE TIME TIME
THEY'RE THE SAME THING
He was dressed up as Jesus and had vodka in one hand while he was blessing everyone and splashing them with holy water in the bathroom.
You motherfucker. I just had an MRI with a penny under my boob.
Showering in not my own throw up is really hittin the spot right now.
Fucking in bar bathrooms doesn't count as "rushing things"
I just sneaky put a tampon in on the bus ninja-style.
......how on earth do you do that?
NINJAAAA
I threw up in a flower pot outside the bar last night and have a date tonight....I think I missed something
I'm so sexually frustrated I feel like I'm going to kill my turtle
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