Me too ba-by. I wanna bite your ear lobes they are so fat.
Don't forget I'm 20 now
I liked you more when you were 19
Alcohol only hurts me because he loves me.
I gambled and lost. Had to pull into a funeral home to clean up with a copy of my resume.
you didnt know i had herpes?
She put up a picture of her grandmother on facebook, looks like the lazy eye runs in the family
Someone apparently named 'eleaw' just text me asking if I had fun last night.
I slept with a married guy last night and then broke my toe on the doorframe on the way out. I've never seen karma work so fast.
Got a stripper to howl at my wolf shirt.
I'm skyping with my parents and reading Cosmo articles on giving great head. I'm on a roller coaster that only goes up, baby.
the whole bar just wished me luck with my booty call tonight
So what's going on?
We hit boys town to get stupid. I mean invading Iraq stupid.
I finished masturbating now I'm eating french toast crunch. What is life, and what are friends.
rest in peace liver.
It was nice having you occupy space in my body that could be holding beer n chicken.
that's going in my livers obituary.
Dude... this pee is not alleged
YOU SAT ON MY LAP!
Wuddup pee lap
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