I just watched a girl use a tall boy Coors as a rolling pin to make christmas cookies
Can you put "designated driver" on a resume?
His facebook interests include 'unstrapping velcro'.
hahahahaha your sister just walked down from the guest house with a stain on the front of her shirt and "owned" written in blue sharpie on her forehead. i dont think she knows what happened last night either.
My body isn't even mad at me...just disappointed
you decided to have a spaghetti fight but then you got greedy and decided to eat it all.
I got a lot accomplished today, and the day is still young! I built a fort, hot boxed a fort, had a tea party in a fort, and now realizing how high I am.
I hope this adventure ends at a hospital
It's Christmas week. I wouldn't know what to do if i wasn't hung over.
I just need to repress my desire to share my impressive chugging abilities with the world and I won't black out so much
We're already drunk. 4 hours to go still. And there's a bear advisory. TOP WEEKEND.
My date ended with her leaving the bar with that guy who used to jerk off in the back of the school bus.
Still fucking the ballerina?
She can put her legs behind her head.
Enough said
When I came she triumphantly exclaimed, "MUAHAHA VICTORY IS MINE!"
hypothetically, what's the best method to remove an stray semen gob from a roommate's important school document?
Randomize
