you were so drunk you tried to use the microwave as a calculator for your BAC
4 am. She strained the mac and cheese onto her legs. She has no skin.
Apparently riding the dog like its a small horse is frowned upon in this establishment
Well, I plan on starting the night dressed as little red riding hood. Then I plan on finishing the night dressed as a shit show in a red cape.
If i ever die cab you make sure bag pipes are at my funeral they are awsome
Well the term Party is used loosely in this situation. Since it will just be mom wine drunk and us eating chips with multiple dips.
Youre having a picnic
Yeah but all we have is vodka, so it's getting a bit out of hand.
He also told me he would eat mozzarella sticks before having sex with me so I'm mad at him.
I just remembered that the guy I slept with last night has "USDA PRIME" tattooed on his ass
I dont understand why so many people are content staying in and avoiding alcohol and sex
She meowed at me. Repeatedly. Then she asked what was wrong with me because I didn't understand her.
Hey I had a great night last night but I don't want to lie to you I'm only 19 and that wasn't my place its was my cousin he's gone for the summer and I was just house sitting and watching his cat I'm sorry
I think someone shaved off all their pubes in the handicap stall or a werewolf stopped by the office to take a crAzy dump!
It was beautiful and filled the audience with hope for the future. :3 I wish I could speak more but sleep werk nighty
I asked how you were doing?
She asked me if I could do that to her every single time. I said nope. sometimes it's better.
Randomize
