She had hickeys... what's up with that?? HAHAHA
This guy just walked into class and first thing he did was grab the garbage can, walk to his desk and say "just in case"
It's too hard to jack off and hold an ipad at the same time
Climbing onto the roof in a dress and high heeled boots was probably not the best idea, especially after all that Bacardi.
apparently my insurance doesn't cover road head. Bummer.
Her gay brother kept hitting on me and cockblocking me. Don't even begin to tell me how bad your night was.
Already at the river; already getting fucked up. And yes that semicolon is legit because those are congruent statemests
Can we talk about how i am holding a tupperware container of my own puke in the back of my grandparents car while my sister drives
I tried to twerk on a barn in 3 inch heels at a party last night and nose dived into mud. These were all new friends. I'm probably not allowed back. Cool.
Update: He still has devil magic genitals.
you tried to drunkinly do the backflip kick off of karate kid and broke the big screen
I party with great urgency now.
I finally realized he drank way too much when he tried serenading me to the song "come my lady" while slowly and creepily making his way toward me...keeping constant eye contact.
I basically spent the entire weekend in bed with that red head.Every time I tried to leave she got me too horny to think straight. I was kidnapped by vagina
I just found my phone after looking for it since yesterday afternoon it was in the fridge.
Randomize
