Tell her she can't have a vagina
you know what would be great? if dirt tasted like steak and could get you drunk.
Her "get-your-paper-done-early-blowjob" incentive is the thing that has successfully deterred my procrastination
He was drunk at Denny's at 5 am saying how Dear John was the worst movie he has ever seen... eyes filled with tears.
Worst relationship ever. Keep in mind I've dated two married chicks and a Mormon.
All I've consumed over the last couple days is Vanilla Coke, semen, and Coors. I don't think today will be any different.
Bro she gave me the stare. It's like she boned me with her eyes. I'm going in.
he's the second guy to suck on my nipple in front of my friends that i haven't made out with.
They don't even know who I am but they just woke me up with maracas and invited my boobs to a kegger
I feel like he has a double life, why was he walking around at 3 am with a backpack?
Made up a full house drinking game
On my way.
He hasn't responded in 6 hours and the last thing he sent me was a picture of 7 grams of coke. I'm getting kinda worried
how much of this shit do i need to take before i think its a good idea to set the house on fire and scream satanic mantras?
What are we just gonna be those girls that get fucked in your parents basement and not get taken to dinner? I don't wanna be those girls.
But yeah, I am thinking that "Cake Heresy" will now be a thing
Randomize
