I created a new tequila drink. it is a mix of excitement and fear instilled in innocent people.
he's the Salvador Dali of pubic shaving
Please dont use Danity Kane lyrics to describe your emotions.
do u usually make out with people before telling them your name???
It was like a mary poppins bag, except a sexual mary poppins bag.
took 5 apple pie shots. caution: flames. not digestable.
Great, now everyone thinks I've had giraffe semen in me
im using old socks as coasters. im going to make a great housewife.
i feel like a lion cub that has been breast fed for years, and mom has left, and now i have to learn how to hunt on my own
There's guys at my school running around throwing potatoes shouting "remember the famine." makes me proud to be Irish.
It honestly wasnt my fault this time. i was in shock. WHO THE FUCK OWNS A PEACOCK?!
Not good... He ate my chips. Thats not a sex analogy for anything. My actual potato chips... gone. I lost on both ends.
Sorry about flashing you in front of your mom.
I'm watching Pretty Woman alone and weaving a basket for Fiona. This is my life.
I'm drinking and making muffins and I believe this is why God put us on earth.
Randomize
