I really think my ability to vom without making noise mmight be my most useful talent
you tried to do a keg stand and ended up flipping over it and onto the table
I just speedwalked down the broken metro escalator while high. Basically all my worst fears combined
This got awkward about two "Oh yeah"s ago.
is that a crab cake on the shelf with the dvd's....?
so the party was at my house but some how i ended up being the only one who slept outside
It was his first time doing shrooms and we made him ride in the truck bed. But he kept standing up and yelling when we stopped so we had to keep driving
I want you to come over here and spit coffee in my mouth like a momma bird feeding a baby bird. That hung over.
You told me you would ride a pig into the night sky screaming, "I wear my sunglasses at night"
I need to find another hobby that doesn't include being hungover.
That's fine. It's not illegal to bring ham into a museum.
My mom is currently drinking alone in our kitchen singing the Dixie Chicks to herself so, hey, alcohol is forever and we should not be shamed for its use.
Thank you for trusting your ovaries to me
get your sex hands out of my capn crunch
So, i might have left my morals back in 2011.
Randomize
