it's like i warped into dreamland and the only thing that makes sense is my solo cup
Just took a beer bong out of snuffaluffagus's trunk. Your move
She puked in the bank of America parking lot? Awesome.
Yeah, figured I'd deposit my check while we were there.
i gave you head in a backbend. if that doesnt say happy birthday i dont know what does.
He just came in my nostril. Never look down when a guy is pulling out during missionary.
I thinking of taking all of the pics of his dick that he's sent me and making a calendar.
No need to get angry I'm just tryin to get my door back
I just found a casserole dish in my oven filled with broken glass, blood, and chopsticks. And the REALLY fucked up thing is that finding it answered more questions than it raised.
Go big or go home. Or get a live in house boy you met 7 years ago and feel like you have unfullfilled potential. You know, the usual
If you are breathing, I want you at your house. No non-breathing-related excuses.
woke up next to the new dishwasher. set the record for banging a new employee to 6 hours...i should be a professional sexual predator
I have to have sex on a bidet. I'm not sure what kind, but it's reason #4 for an Italian vacation!
I've never SEEN someone give negative fucks before. It's actually rather impressive. I want to study under them.
Did I tell you that I told him I deleted his dick pics and he almost started crying?
you gave me money for the cab and then walked home..
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