I did the walk of shame to another booty call
I don't think that should turn me on, but it does
I hraet yuo
did you say you heart me or hate me?
who is this?
Was it a mistake telling him I couldn't get the abortion until I was 2 months along on the first date?
It feels like I shit a light bulb that shattered on the way out.
Never again let me pretend to be australian for free booze.
Apparently I kept telling the bartender that I was going to set the Guinness World Record.
tried unsuccessfully for 10 minutes to do bong hits while wearing glow in the dark vampire fangs before realizing air was getting out of the sides of my mouth
I forget the details, but I'm told that I drunkenly stalked him around floor yelling obscure Jewish laws at him
That's science, my friend. Boner science.
The chlamydia really affected his face.
Correction... Drunk on winter break. There are no days of the week on break.
I hooked up with a lesbian tonite. Top 2 valentines experiences of all time.
No. 70% of the female population would find them attractive. The other 30% are lesbian and even they would appreciate them for their strong bodies and athletic capabilities.
If you can't drink with the big boys, give up your beer and go back to the playpen
yeah, i'm probably gonna die. still gonna be totally worth it tho
Randomize
