I dumped him because he's never seen star wars. I'm certain I did the right thing.
I was just told by a cop that my party was the most epic party they ever crashed
I don't even know what he looks like, all i've seen of him is his dick
the rest of him looks just as crooked
Now go wash the fat girl off your hands.
We left at the same time. You got home three hours after I did and said you got your head stuck in a fence. I can't believe you don't remember this.
I'm practically paying him in tacos to have sex with me.
Passing out is just my bodies way of protecting my liver.
Im so excited to get permanently banned for life from all the old bars again, it is gonna be christmas after all
God I hope the gutter I die in is nice. You know, for a gutter.
There is a 1000000% chance you'll be turned down if you try coming on to me while I watch Star Wars.
The judge mental looks i am getting while looking at porn on my phone sitting in the urgent care waiting room is gonna get way worse when they find out im here to see if im pregnant
Dude a gay guy just Sparta kicked this Samoan guy for calling him a flamer you need to get down here the free kamakazee shots haven't even started yet
Sincerely. Thanks. You could have thought of anyone sitting on your face but you chose me. :)
if you come you're not allowed to wear pants. if you arrive wearing pants you won't be wearing them long.
Vacuum the place before you go out of town there are random glitter cocks everywhere
Randomize
