my girlfriends now gay ex-boyfriend kissed me. tell maddie i can't hangout today
Nick had a break down & said to me "Everybody's mad at me, I'm the douchebag, Im the fucking douchebag that everyone hates, Do you wanna come home with this douchebag?!"
You're going home with him aren't you?
I'll see ya in the morning when I leave his house
some guy just asked me if water gets in a vag when girls take a bath. WTF. it's not a wind tunnel!
i kept telling her phones are not food, and she countinued to put it in her mouth..
Reason #1 for no sex outdoors: Mosquito bites. Awkward, awkward mosquito bites.
So I've been to the library twice so far. Both times were for the atm, and once I was stoned. Junior year is going great.
do you guys have 30-35 shot glasses? because if not, i don't even see a point in me coming
we're about an hour out, how's the weather?
cloudy with a chance of strippers and cocaine, you're favorite. welcome home.
i don't know how it's possible. but i just bought groceries for a week with the money i made off returning empties
I whispered "you're doing a great Job" when he was fucking me. Then high fived him.
Its mothers day, andI woke up with 12 bar stamps on my face, holding orange juice and a box of tampons. This can not be happening
I just had to explain my bite marks to my allergy doctor when she gave me my shots...You're the best <3
THIS IS WHAT CELL PHONES ARE FOR! So you can tell me that you're bringing your coworker who lives in the "Halleleuia community" home for a beer SO I'M NOT DRESSED IN LEATHER LINGERIE WHEN HE WALKS IN THE FUCKING DOOR!!
I need more 20 something year old penis in my life
About that photo of the cake you just sent. You do realize it’s on a glass table, right? We can all see your reflection in it, and you’re very obviously naked.
Randomize
