no it's cool...i'm just drinking and studying...cool night
I work with a guy that has a strong spanish accent. He just said "I have a plethora of ..." and I busted out into laughter b4 he finished his sentence b/c it reminded me of 3 amigos.
Dude, this place has 10% alcohol beer on tap. It's like God's semen.
Do you ever go through someone elses pictures and just appreciate the fact that youre not really friends with them?
I'm heating up a hotdog using a candle.
The water bill last month was outrageous. We have got to stop fucking for hours in the shower
You drunk invited us to do an intervention for you.
I even tried crushing up viagra and putting it in his beer... And the next day he found the package on the counter. I told him it was for my friends husband.
This ER has an aquarium in it!!!
Agreed then we'll really be on our A game tomorrow. And by A I mean alcohol.
It bothers me when I see my old fuck buddies starting families on Facebook.
If I could drink as much and have the amount of sex he has at his age, well I'd probably be dead
Pants are for mortals
I got all the way to work before I realized there were Trojans in my bra.
She's throwing a party for a guy that just got out of rehab?
Randomize
