Contrary to popular belief, while 19 is an attractive age, it does not equate to sexual prowess.
I just told my doc I would like to talk about my drinking problem, but that it would probably get in the way of my weekend plans.
okay serious question, the water is shut off in your house, do you attempt and use the clean toilet water for your new bong?
i asked him how he could stand the smell of skunk. his answer was "it smells like good weed"...
Lesson Learned this Week... If it seems too good to be true he is probably just trying to get you pregnant.
Dude, didnt you only know that guy for a month and he is demanding offspring?
Apparently, at this age my womb is an early conversation
Dude how the fuck are we gonna get the lawnmower outta the pool?
I have an asthmatic alcoholic for a roommate. That can't be safe.
it's like heaven, but drunker
Did copperhead road at the bar. All the girl next to me did was stare at my glorious bouncing tits. CAN I FUCKING HELP YOU?? I worked hard for these tits.
Just listened to a full Christian rock song, loved it,listened to the dj send a prayer to a 4th grader who was having a tough year and realized I'm high as fuk
THANKS BE TO BLACK BABY JESUS IN HIS LITTLE GOLDEN DIAPER FOR BLESSING ME WITH NOT PREGNANT
I'm questioning my decision to swallow this morning while my stomach was in hangover mode
My disapointment is making my balls hurt :(
Last night you were throwing up in my toilet singing "all by myself."
I ACCIDENTALLY MURDERED MY COUSIN
HOW DO YOU ACCIDENTALLY MURDER YOUR COUSIN
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