I just am on my way home.. i had 3 and one startd crying and puking.. so they went home. one bitch fuckin ruined it for evryone.. u playin cards?
someone threw a dead crab at me
guess you're going to miss out on a groin massage and a frosty vagina
Stop selling my mother weed! She's annoying as hell when she's stoned.
We did lines off of a Whitney Houston CD case. That makes everything okay.
This escort grabbed my boyfriends ass and it became clear, he fucked pretty much anything he could find prior to dating me.
the question is "speedos?" and the answer is "yes".
I totally accidentally said "we don't go around hammering girls in the rear" in front of 132 5th graders today.
I'm not sure if it was the 11 shots or your naturally vibrant personality but I recall you being quite noisy that evening
you were yelling that somebody needed to take your bra off with such enthusiasm my first thought was that you were on fire.
Apparently I've told this bouncer I stalk him on Instagram 3 times. I should stop drinking. I only remeber saying it tonight. early sign of Alzheimer's
I woke up with a meat pie in my hand and my mouth tasting like an ashtray. I'm a catch, really!
I woke up with broken tostitos all over my bed and a snap chat of myself flipping off the camera.
I haven't had an orgasm since 2014. So you cam see why I'm having a bad year.
Speaking of dumpster fires, your ex tried to add me on Facebook
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