okay pat passed out under dana's car
boyfriend complimented me on my new prada shoes today. he is officially either gay or the man im gonna marry. knowing my luck it's all of the above.
after we finished he farted and said 'i've been holding that one in'
i'm naked playing bejeweled blitz in your bed. this is both a forewarning and an apology
he kept refering to his penis as the "eternal sunshine"
note to self... there IS such a thing as having too many birthday shots...
My #1 goal this summer is to get drunk at olive garden
It was like an alcohol war zone and you left a soldier behind.
She puked her nose ring out of her face.
he told me while inside me and mid thrust that he's dreamed of that moment since high school... awkward
Worse than that. I caught my roommate jerking off to a topless stripper in gta 5.
You HAVE to stop telling me about the shit you do drunk. I can't be both your brother AND your gay friend.
He snorted adderall on my table. I have a feeling he's not trying to buy me flowers
There we go, I shall begin my attempt to achieve whore status today
I can't believe the MLB is making the NHL look good.
Randomize
