i was just lookin through my fb pics and i think im with a cat in like 40% of them..: how sad is my life
You tipped the bathroom lady $20 and then yelled "IT'S YOUR LUCKY DAAAAAAAY" at her.
She called me her ex's name in a supermarket. How boring am I that she livens up shopping by thinking of another guy?
There was a community pot of Ramen, and if you were in the pool you were either fully clothes or ass naked.
And I'm ok with his balls touching my ass
Do you think that we can get a group discount on liver transplants? We'll be like kids again!
Have u seen my thong? Last time i saw it was drenched in vodka and on his brothers broken lamp.
Nah but tell him his boxers made it to the basement
i looked down and was like "oh shit thats blood" then it was like "shit, thats not my blood." then it was like whos blood is this??
Well she started to strip and when she slung her hair at me, she painted my face with sweat. A LOT OF SWEAT. It was a weird boner.
I think I'm making a tradition of going to every funeral with at least one sex-related bruise. I don't know how this happened.
Are you aware that you called me "Sexy clit lady" last night?
It only takes one line of cocaine, and you try to shotput a fucking kitchen table
if I blackout nd am found tomorrow w butterfly hairclips on my nipples and my habd down my pants tell my family I am sorry
The room got awkwardly silent right as i yelled "leave him alone! I know plenty of straight guys who like to suck dick!"
the coup got in the way of sex but inauguration day came thru we did it joe
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