Pretty sure somebody just said 'I used to have a nipple'
that's awkward
My spanish teacher discovered you can watch spanish music videos on youtube. Guess what were doing in class today? Michael Scott Spanish 101
his dick makes me think maybe a monogamous relationship forever is possible.
He called his prostate his "boner button".
Trying to figure out which chair my head was under last night
Every time I walk onto campus my Saint Patrick's day scar starts to throb. I'm like a drunken accident prone Harry Potter
the fact that i already established a hook up buddy for thanksgiving break is genius
I managed to get through my meeting without throwing up in someone else's office, so there's that for an accomplishment today.
I'm so glad I was blacked out while I was going all exorcist in the bathroom. That's so not a memory I want.
the best part of college is nobody can tell me not to eat six toaster strudels and jerk off in the shower
How do I carry myself in a way that says "I swallow"?
do you think the dildo I'm bringing through airport security is considered a weapon?
You said you were going to start drinking less. Drinking 25 small airplane bottle shots do not count.
You have no concept of how high I am, do you?
He went down on me while i ate a whole 7/11 pizza. New level unlocked
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