Jesus was obviously not given an itemized list of your sins before he died for them
my grandma just put on bowling shoes, to play wii bowling.
People are handing out olympic condoms downtown, just put it on and it broke, this is how there trying to raise the population. Very sneaky canadian government, very sneaky
Last night you tried to pee on my bed...in the hallway...your room...and the showers. When I finally got you on the toilet you passed out.
So I think his penis grew over the weekend. Is that possible or does absence make the dick grow longer?
We woke up under the ping pong table holding hands.
I went to a bar in my pajamas last night. I'll be there again tonight in a wolf costume.
he got everyone in a room, turned off the lights and started throwing knives at the wall. if you got hit, you had to drink...
I feel like I was eaten by a coyote, then shit over a cliff...
Is valentines day the worst or best day to ask for a threesome? I'm weighing some options on this high-risk manoeuvre.
my drivers license is super glued to my shoulder and im to hung over to get it off come and help me
BUT YOU MUST FINISH YOUR QUEST
TO FIND THE HOLY GRAIL
AND GET DRUNK OFF YOUR ASS BY DRINKING OUT OF IT
And then he said he wanted to "get really weird with me on my horse." I took that as he wants to fuck me while riding my horse. Could be a good time.
Would you consider masturbating to Hocus Pocus an adulthood high or low?
i can eat my weight in tater tots. don't test me, bitch
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