I'm watching a show called "I didn't know I was pregnant" on TLC...Apparently this happens enough that there is a series
I wish i could sleep and get drunk at the same time...those are my 2 biggest needs right now
He freaked out when I started to orgasm. He said he never knew girls could orgasm too.
every time i wear that dress i get kicked out of a bar.
just tripped. bootyfest 2012 will be my engagement party. i saw the whole future. i'm moving to the beach.
You have to stop getting hammered and preaching about that mission trip to Haiti.
I'm making presurgery martini's. You need to be here.
Travelers Top-Tip: Europeans do not appreciate being repeatedly referred to as "gypsy" regardless of how good your Borat impression is.
you started looking at my couch laughing and saying to it "she thinks I'm talking to you" then proceeded to laugh and talk to the couch some more.
Note to self don't give these guys your number. I've seen more dick tonight than a proctologist sees his whole career
i dont get why youre mad at me. i promised you he looked like jim morrison and you failed to ask me like which era
It was going great until he started saying "ooh kill em" under his breath with each thrust
I need to get all the one night tinders in my system before I move back in with my parents
I also fell asleep on the side of a tree so like I hit my lowest point there but it was a good time
Not as bad as when you were sitting in the pond getting fed water
Oh fuck, I'm officially a cougar..he's got the same name as my grandson
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